Just a few random notes form my travel to hades...err wal mart..please forgive if i offend, or not
White girls...do not add black girl hair weaves.. you do nto look cool and the closer normal people get the stupider you look
At McDonalds..learn to read the menu.. an order of " ill have a #12 but with no bacon or mushrooms" is asnine an 11 has niether... a 12 has bacon and a 13 has mushrooms
Also mcdonalds "choo wan banilla?" WTF if you are going to take my order speak english..how can you be a manager with "choo wan banilla?"
Also if you are stupid quit breeding..'nuff said
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Why we run in circles chasing our collective tail
Thanks for coming and reading I appreciate it, it’s good to see so many of you and now, on with the show.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately, about sheep and how unfair it is to compare people to sheep……unfair for the sheep that is. We wander aimlessly from channel to channel looking for the weapons of crass delusion, for a cure for depression and for the thought that “wouldn’t it be great to see a country free from a government that kills and tortures innocent people? A government which tells people what to believe is best for them? A government run by the people instead of a select few? Do you ever think we can liberate ourselves from ourselves?
It has been said that “We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.” Yet we are a society that chooses to not read but to use tv and the media to teach family values and right and wrong to an entire generation. "Hmmm channel 2 or 4?" real creative.
We say drinking is bad and then let every mom and pop brand of adult beverage plaster thier name on everything they can....."hey lookit jimmies new Bud hat...goes well with the cammo pants and wife beater while he grills don't it?"
Drugs are another fun one...."Ooohhh were losing the war on drugs"....what a total line that is..it implies 1) we are fighting a war with people on drugs and 2) we are losing...c'mon now when was the last time you saw 2 people high on pot want to fight? They are just not that interested in it...the texture of wet grass is so much more complex to them. I mean seriously when was the last time a stoner walked into a gym and shot anyone? NEVER .....why because the were STONED soooooo point to the government....quit fighting and get high .. it'l be ok Barak I'll send you a pizza.......and some cheetos.
All of whch leads me to porn.....yes, porn...see porn is our most creative outlet it seems.....Let's all have a beer, get high and see what kind of weird angles we can find while playing naked crisco twister with our skype on....and who says we are not creative huh?
Here is my final point. About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography and smoking and everything else. What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I do, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?
I’ve been thinking a lot lately, about sheep and how unfair it is to compare people to sheep……unfair for the sheep that is. We wander aimlessly from channel to channel looking for the weapons of crass delusion, for a cure for depression and for the thought that “wouldn’t it be great to see a country free from a government that kills and tortures innocent people? A government which tells people what to believe is best for them? A government run by the people instead of a select few? Do you ever think we can liberate ourselves from ourselves?
It has been said that “We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.” Yet we are a society that chooses to not read but to use tv and the media to teach family values and right and wrong to an entire generation. "Hmmm channel 2 or 4?" real creative.
We say drinking is bad and then let every mom and pop brand of adult beverage plaster thier name on everything they can....."hey lookit jimmies new Bud hat...goes well with the cammo pants and wife beater while he grills don't it?"
Drugs are another fun one...."Ooohhh were losing the war on drugs"....what a total line that is..it implies 1) we are fighting a war with people on drugs and 2) we are losing...c'mon now when was the last time you saw 2 people high on pot want to fight? They are just not that interested in it...the texture of wet grass is so much more complex to them. I mean seriously when was the last time a stoner walked into a gym and shot anyone? NEVER .....why because the were STONED soooooo point to the government....quit fighting and get high .. it'l be ok Barak I'll send you a pizza.......and some cheetos.
All of whch leads me to porn.....yes, porn...see porn is our most creative outlet it seems.....Let's all have a beer, get high and see what kind of weird angles we can find while playing naked crisco twister with our skype on....and who says we are not creative huh?
Here is my final point. About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography and smoking and everything else. What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I do, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Wow what I have learned
Its been a busy week (go figure?)
1) You can in fact scar your corneas by seeing horrific things like a 5'4" 400 pound womanin bright pink spandex....
2) There are people stupid enough to attempt to pry a door lock off a car witht he same door window rolled down..all the way down.. they will then take cds but in a fit of kindesss leave the cases
3) Ive learned that your kids can be true assholes.. now I dont have kids but I am sure my father has felt that way at some point
4) Pools are nice...sunburns are not
1) You can in fact scar your corneas by seeing horrific things like a 5'4" 400 pound womanin bright pink spandex....
2) There are people stupid enough to attempt to pry a door lock off a car witht he same door window rolled down..all the way down.. they will then take cds but in a fit of kindesss leave the cases
3) Ive learned that your kids can be true assholes.. now I dont have kids but I am sure my father has felt that way at some point
4) Pools are nice...sunburns are not
Thursday, June 18, 2009
people rant part 1
So I am thinking to myself that there's always some tool waiting just outside to harass you, scam you, jump you, or just be generally disagreeable. The thing of it is, they don't always stay outside — sometimes they come after you like a wolf at feeding time.
I have compiled a list of the ones who piss me off the most in no particular order…
The damm guy who has absolutely no idea where he is at ten o'clock in the morning in the middle of my office. Get a job you waste of life, or switch from depressants to stimulants in the morning. Whatever your trip, get off it and find something that works for you before you become another bump on the un-vacuumed floor.
I'm doing that job, and everything on the side, along with millions of other people who are by and large screwed by credit cards. So, take a flying leap MasterCard, Visa, Discover and all you other corporate inquisitors damning us to lives of toil at your command. You hold focus groups to design ads that get us to accept more cards, rack up more debt, and then you strong arm legislation through Congress to make sure we're thoroughly and completely screwed from the first missed payment to the moment our embattled hearts stop beating.
And that goes for the cell phone companies that get five hours' wages every month for doing absolutely nothing. Your phone doesn't work half the times when I need it to, the minutes I buy disappear on the 30th if I haven't used 'em, and c'mon: forty cents a minute when I go over? You'd slap me with an early life-termination fee upon my death if you could, you bloodsuckers.
And the guy that sold me that phone, that college dropout with the suit he bought at Target. I see you leering at the high school girls from your kiosk by Hot Topic. Haven't you figured out that demo camera phone yet? You keep playing with it all the time, or do you enjoy the thrill of taking pictures of fourteen year old girls THAT much? Go hit the pretzel stand and stuff your slack jaws until your stomach bursts. Your two inch obituary on page 9 will be the greatest achievement of your life. Die.
There’s the wannabe who runs around in cammo all the time acting tough 'cause he wants to be a SEAL even though he's 28 and lives in his mother's basement. Your parents got divorced 'cause your dad was ashamed of your ass, smf. Save the planet and kill yourself.
And that person in the red Scion that parks so close to my car door I have to get in on the passenger side. I'd key the hell out of your car if I could get my arm between our cars.
And if you can't relate to this go back to the south, the deep part, the part that says "Welcome to Colombia" over a manned machinegun post in the jungle, and keep going. You don't need a visa, just blow the border guards like every one else you've met. And be sure to lick the frogs, the brighter colored ones. I hope an anaconda drags you back to its hole and eats you slowly from the feet up
I have compiled a list of the ones who piss me off the most in no particular order…
The damm guy who has absolutely no idea where he is at ten o'clock in the morning in the middle of my office. Get a job you waste of life, or switch from depressants to stimulants in the morning. Whatever your trip, get off it and find something that works for you before you become another bump on the un-vacuumed floor.
I'm doing that job, and everything on the side, along with millions of other people who are by and large screwed by credit cards. So, take a flying leap MasterCard, Visa, Discover and all you other corporate inquisitors damning us to lives of toil at your command. You hold focus groups to design ads that get us to accept more cards, rack up more debt, and then you strong arm legislation through Congress to make sure we're thoroughly and completely screwed from the first missed payment to the moment our embattled hearts stop beating.
And that goes for the cell phone companies that get five hours' wages every month for doing absolutely nothing. Your phone doesn't work half the times when I need it to, the minutes I buy disappear on the 30th if I haven't used 'em, and c'mon: forty cents a minute when I go over? You'd slap me with an early life-termination fee upon my death if you could, you bloodsuckers.
And the guy that sold me that phone, that college dropout with the suit he bought at Target. I see you leering at the high school girls from your kiosk by Hot Topic. Haven't you figured out that demo camera phone yet? You keep playing with it all the time, or do you enjoy the thrill of taking pictures of fourteen year old girls THAT much? Go hit the pretzel stand and stuff your slack jaws until your stomach bursts. Your two inch obituary on page 9 will be the greatest achievement of your life. Die.
There’s the wannabe who runs around in cammo all the time acting tough 'cause he wants to be a SEAL even though he's 28 and lives in his mother's basement. Your parents got divorced 'cause your dad was ashamed of your ass, smf. Save the planet and kill yourself.
And that person in the red Scion that parks so close to my car door I have to get in on the passenger side. I'd key the hell out of your car if I could get my arm between our cars.
And if you can't relate to this go back to the south, the deep part, the part that says "Welcome to Colombia" over a manned machinegun post in the jungle, and keep going. You don't need a visa, just blow the border guards like every one else you've met. And be sure to lick the frogs, the brighter colored ones. I hope an anaconda drags you back to its hole and eats you slowly from the feet up
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
"The" list of things I have learned
OK here we go here we go..
1) Someone coming into the mens room and going "boy it smells nice in here" creeps me out
2) Small asain drivers over the age of 60 should not be allowed to drive in reverse lest they hit me again (twice so far this year)
3) My new favorite saying and least favorite thing to see is "hairy bunghole" especially bad when its a 400 lb woman in see through orange spandex at yoga....
4) -ve found that people seem to think that I am willing to put aside my beliefs for thiers....interesting...
1) Someone coming into the mens room and going "boy it smells nice in here" creeps me out
2) Small asain drivers over the age of 60 should not be allowed to drive in reverse lest they hit me again (twice so far this year)
3) My new favorite saying and least favorite thing to see is "hairy bunghole" especially bad when its a 400 lb woman in see through orange spandex at yoga....
4) -ve found that people seem to think that I am willing to put aside my beliefs for thiers....interesting...
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Yes we have managed to learn things
some musings for the week
1) Life is tough wear a helmet unless you are a 350 pound man riding the brightest green scooter knows to man. We all know you aren't a target..you might hurt my car
2) dogs will eat anything given the right moment including a silcone breast implant.. why someone I work with had one of these lying around I'll never ask
3)I've discovered I like arglye socks...go figure?
4)getting up at 3:30 is not fun and getting to the gym by 4 is less however the results are nice
5) I am having a love affair.... with red bull and we are sooo good for each other.. I love caressing the can and slowly popping the top and well.. you get the picture
6) independance and in control are not mutually exclusive, can be blurred and are not open to discussion with your parents
7) conversations invloving the subject above can cause brain cramps and lead to alcohol consumption
more soon
1) Life is tough wear a helmet unless you are a 350 pound man riding the brightest green scooter knows to man. We all know you aren't a target..you might hurt my car
2) dogs will eat anything given the right moment including a silcone breast implant.. why someone I work with had one of these lying around I'll never ask
3)I've discovered I like arglye socks...go figure?
4)getting up at 3:30 is not fun and getting to the gym by 4 is less however the results are nice
5) I am having a love affair.... with red bull and we are sooo good for each other.. I love caressing the can and slowly popping the top and well.. you get the picture
6) independance and in control are not mutually exclusive, can be blurred and are not open to discussion with your parents
7) conversations invloving the subject above can cause brain cramps and lead to alcohol consumption
more soon
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
What we learned this week
Well this week included some travel to distant lands (Chicago) and a lot of driving so here we go...forgive the rambling I am more tired than usual:
1) I learned I really like Cadillac Escalades after renting one for 4 days of mindless numbing moving
2) Flying for 6 hours to get somewhere to drive for an hour to get some where to start moving boxes for hours......sucks
3) It sucks even if it is your father
4) Especially for my father who rewarded me with stories of having anal sex with Marylin Chambers while there was 5K of coke laying around
5) I learned that 5K of coke is approximately 72072 ounces of coke at 2 16 ounce bottles for 2.22 and with a case of 32 cans being 8.99 at Costco you would have 17797 cans of soda if you are into recycling.
6) All that recycling may pay for a tank of gas for the Escalade which got about 12 miles per gallon
7) Discussing Owner or Master/Slave relations is tough over the phone when someone is new to them
8)Rosati's pizza is bad both in Las Vegas and in Chicago.. think about it.. how do you mess up thin crust?
9) My home is definitely Las Vegas..Chicago is nice but among other things the one I won is here.
10) I learned that Nyxie needs sleep or it's just bad....bad bad
11) Did I mention the Escalade?
1) I learned I really like Cadillac Escalades after renting one for 4 days of mindless numbing moving
2) Flying for 6 hours to get somewhere to drive for an hour to get some where to start moving boxes for hours......sucks
3) It sucks even if it is your father
4) Especially for my father who rewarded me with stories of having anal sex with Marylin Chambers while there was 5K of coke laying around
5) I learned that 5K of coke is approximately 72072 ounces of coke at 2 16 ounce bottles for 2.22 and with a case of 32 cans being 8.99 at Costco you would have 17797 cans of soda if you are into recycling.
6) All that recycling may pay for a tank of gas for the Escalade which got about 12 miles per gallon
7) Discussing Owner or Master/Slave relations is tough over the phone when someone is new to them
8)Rosati's pizza is bad both in Las Vegas and in Chicago.. think about it.. how do you mess up thin crust?
9) My home is definitely Las Vegas..Chicago is nice but among other things the one I won is here.
10) I learned that Nyxie needs sleep or it's just bad....bad bad
11) Did I mention the Escalade?
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Dear Jesus part 2
So Jesus I've been thinking,
It must be really tough to be blamed for everything by about a billion people. It must be tough to have to be asked about guidance but I guess people yelling PTL!! PTL!! Makes it all worthwhile? So my question for you Jesus for today is this: what the hell is PTL anyways? I think it might be a secret brainwashing code but I am not sure. I am sure you know the Brain Injured One (BOI) and she sure seems to demand a lot of your time recently. She seems to think that it was the conversations you two have been having (and thanks for answering her by the way) lead to her not taking her meds, for not being able to hold a job and for her overwhelming need to move to st louis, last month. All I can say to her insane craziness is thank you Jesus for showing her the crazy path.
It must be really tough to be blamed for everything by about a billion people. It must be tough to have to be asked about guidance but I guess people yelling PTL!! PTL!! Makes it all worthwhile? So my question for you Jesus for today is this: what the hell is PTL anyways? I think it might be a secret brainwashing code but I am not sure. I am sure you know the Brain Injured One (BOI) and she sure seems to demand a lot of your time recently. She seems to think that it was the conversations you two have been having (and thanks for answering her by the way) lead to her not taking her meds, for not being able to hold a job and for her overwhelming need to move to st louis, last month. All I can say to her insane craziness is thank you Jesus for showing her the crazy path.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
tv stands
TV stands… they are pricey. When you think about it. the stands out last the TV. Think of all the TV stands out there. They are like the plastic bags of furniture, filling up thrift stores and garages everywhere. They never go bad. they are built sturdy to carry the heavy weight. The just sit there…. No heavy usage no stains really, Just weathering time….Now all the analog TVs that have been filling our homes for years, what is to become of them! they will need to build thrift stores just for TV’s and their stands!
Sometimes pain does really equal wisdom...and it starts right here
Sometimes the decisions you make....or actions you try to do lead to lose-lose results and I have managed to be felled by one of these. My intentions were good...move the father to here.. get him out of the cold and into the great warmth and away form the madness that is, well madness. I was given the great task of having 3 weeks to do this including lining up doctors, finding him a place to live etc.. which all went wayyyy south. So as a result I am going to be in Chicago for several days starting this afternoon and get to bear the brunt of yet more grief... gotta love it
Monday, May 25, 2009
We all learn things .. they may just not be normal
Here are some I have been meaning to type recently
1) I have found the most effective method to stopping someone blaring rap at like.... oh 5 a.m. to to play equally loud Bocelli and sing to it....poorly
2) Singing in Italian if you do not know Italian works well as a karaoke type sing along
3) Getting up at 4 am to be at 6 doesn't work.. heck getting up at 2 may not work..hell not going to sleep wont help me be on time...
4) While singing the theme to Underdog is amusing the theme from Mighty Mouse can get annoying
5) I have found proof that stupid people walk among us . The one I can add about the guy "falling" of a casino parking garage roof after his beer might work?
6) They make pink guns...PINK and no, I do not one one
7) There are websites for everything. Here is one with instructions on how to make a sock monkey
and in case your sock monkey turns into a vampire here is how to kill it
1) I have found the most effective method to stopping someone blaring rap at like.... oh 5 a.m. to to play equally loud Bocelli and sing to it....poorly
2) Singing in Italian if you do not know Italian works well as a karaoke type sing along
3) Getting up at 4 am to be at 6 doesn't work.. heck getting up at 2 may not work..hell not going to sleep wont help me be on time...
4) While singing the theme to Underdog is amusing the theme from Mighty Mouse can get annoying
5) I have found proof that stupid people walk among us . The one I can add about the guy "falling" of a casino parking garage roof after his beer might work?
6) They make pink guns...PINK and no, I do not one one
7) There are websites for everything. Here is one with instructions on how to make a sock monkey
and in case your sock monkey turns into a vampire here is how to kill it
Thought for today
The Supreme Court states that pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts; that's their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes sexual thoughts. Hmm. . . . Sounds like . . . every commercial on television, doesn't it?”
Sunday, May 3, 2009
To collar or not? An Alpha Male's quandary
So it is a beautiful Sunday here In Hades South. I am cleaning house and car with the windows open cranking F***ing Hostile by Pantera at the moment and contemplating my quandary of to collar or not. I realize this is a commitment and while having not the time I want nor need I do everything I may want to do this is something that I am contemplating still. She is spectacular and interesting and neither her baggage (by her admission) or issues have any bearing on my decision... it is more of is it the right thing for me to consider.... I'll share more background soon but now back to Pantera :)
Friday, May 1, 2009
today is D day
Today at 7pm I will have made my challenge of 30 in 30. Damm it feels good to be a gangster :)
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
what we have learned......
Things we have learned recently
1) Walking dogs rules in fact it can be most rewarding...
2) There are more douchebags here than possibly anywhere else and
3) Douchebag exclusivly refers to men
4) Sometimes you have to pay people to shut up...no, not to not say anything but to truly shut up...$5 works usually
5) It seems you can get time off of work for new tits but not vacation...hmm Ideas brewing ....do I want tits and time off.....hmmmmm....its a shame I cannot donate them to charity
More soon :)
1) Walking dogs rules in fact it can be most rewarding...
2) There are more douchebags here than possibly anywhere else and
3) Douchebag exclusivly refers to men
4) Sometimes you have to pay people to shut up...no, not to not say anything but to truly shut up...$5 works usually
5) It seems you can get time off of work for new tits but not vacation...hmm Ideas brewing ....do I want tits and time off.....hmmmmm....its a shame I cannot donate them to charity
More soon :)
a native american healer peom
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me to know how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals, or if you have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine, or your own. I want to know if you can dance with the wilderness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, realistic, or to remember the limitations of the human being.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself and if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it’s not a pretty day, and if you can sort your life from God’s presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done.
It doesn’t interest me who you are, or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moment.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Tagged .. Damm you Nyxie
Okay, Nyxie tagged me with the Tagged 8 meme. She's kinda evil like that. So........ here goes.
8 things I'm looking forward to:
1. Getting done with doing 30 yoga classes in 30 days so I can
2. Get some damm sleep dammit
3. Going to see Monsters Vs. Aliens 'cause I am cool like that
4. Having some bad for you movie popcorn to go with it and yes, with salt
5. Finishing a comp program I am working on
6. Running My first race (Yes Nyx I'll run with you, freak.)
7. Using my vacation time
8. Randomly petting stray dogs
8 things I did yesterday:
1. Did Yoga
2. Did Yoga again (really)
3. Wasted time on My Space
4. Took a great nap in the middle of the day (Bliss)
5. Thought about cleaning the house and ....
6. basically saying screw it
7. Cut the grass
8. Had a nice salad at TGI Fridays while being amused at all the ugly people at Sams Town
8 things I wish I could do:
1. Fly, but I am afraid of heights
2. Touch my g-dam head to the floor (long story)
3. Buy a 1950 Chevy and actlike I am cool... which I am not
4. Eat sushi now..right now.. not 10 minutes.. now dammit now now now
5. Have a job I truly enjoyed
6. Do every position in bikram yoga (see #2)
7. C-I-L-L my landlord
8. Go somewhere besides slowly crazy..crazier? not sure
8 TV shows I watch:
1. Any trash on VH1
2. Real World
3. American Idol when i am in the mood to sing showtunes
4. MNF
5. The first 48
6. Any MTV challenge
7. Anything where people hit each other and I can yell :)
8. ANTM (It's fierce I tell you)
8 People I have to tag to propogate this evil meme virus of doom:
I''ll get back to you on this
8 things I'm looking forward to:
1. Getting done with doing 30 yoga classes in 30 days so I can
2. Get some damm sleep dammit
3. Going to see Monsters Vs. Aliens 'cause I am cool like that
4. Having some bad for you movie popcorn to go with it and yes, with salt
5. Finishing a comp program I am working on
6. Running My first race (Yes Nyx I'll run with you, freak.)
7. Using my vacation time
8. Randomly petting stray dogs
8 things I did yesterday:
1. Did Yoga
2. Did Yoga again (really)
3. Wasted time on My Space
4. Took a great nap in the middle of the day (Bliss)
5. Thought about cleaning the house and ....
6. basically saying screw it
7. Cut the grass
8. Had a nice salad at TGI Fridays while being amused at all the ugly people at Sams Town
8 things I wish I could do:
1. Fly, but I am afraid of heights
2. Touch my g-dam head to the floor (long story)
3. Buy a 1950 Chevy and actlike I am cool... which I am not
4. Eat sushi now..right now.. not 10 minutes.. now dammit now now now
5. Have a job I truly enjoyed
6. Do every position in bikram yoga (see #2)
7. C-I-L-L my landlord
8. Go somewhere besides slowly crazy..crazier? not sure
8 TV shows I watch:
1. Any trash on VH1
2. Real World
3. American Idol when i am in the mood to sing showtunes
4. MNF
5. The first 48
6. Any MTV challenge
7. Anything where people hit each other and I can yell :)
8. ANTM (It's fierce I tell you)
8 People I have to tag to propogate this evil meme virus of doom:
I''ll get back to you on this
Monday, April 20, 2009
the 30/30 looking at #17
I'm tired, go figure? I'm always tired and sore AND hungry. But there's 14 to go and I am looking at #17 today. What I really want is a steak... and a beer.. and a piece of rebar to beat the sheep with.... I am still wondering what the heck I am doing as I pack and get ready to knock another week of 7 classes in 5 days out....ouch
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
The 30/30 update
So yesterday was the eighth or day #7 of the 30/30 challenge as I started on the second. Did my second double of the 30/30 bringing me to 7 classes completed. Today will be double #3 so I can bank for one extra day saved up just in case. Yes I am damm sore today and yes I would rather curl up in a ball (not rabbit) and go back to sleep but that aint gonna happen so on to day 7 :)
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
30 in 30 day 5 number 4
Did class #4 of 30 in 30 days last night with doubles set for wed and thurs to get me back on pace as I can't do class on weekends...yes I am crazy but no, not due to this :)
Friday, April 3, 2009
30 in 30...so it begins
30 Bikram in 30 days? Am I crazy? I guess we will see...Today is day 2 of my personal 30 day experience and I am 3 classes and we will see where it ends up...my goal is to be a consistant 215 or less which is only a couple pounds from where I am but to get 30 will be a challange. There will be at least 8 days of doubles...sacrifice for gain? Maybe....Pain equalling wisdom? Yes...
Thursday, April 2, 2009
So its amazing what I think up.. Why Jews cant be gangsters
I am not sure why this popped into my head but I have several reasons why Jews cannot be gangsters.. here goes:
1) Jews get "Yo" and "Oy" mixed up which can be amusing..just think "Oy Oy Oy Vhats up me man?"
2)What Jew has ever just killed someone for no reason I mean really? " So she didn't like how I sung Hava Nagila so I popped a cap in her ass"
3) "Sleep with the fishes"? we don't even eat shellfish and what with all the yucky things in the water and not eating for an hour before swimming.....
4) Flashing money and expensive jewelry ( a word in itself makes me chuckle at buying a St. Christophers medal from Mordecai but that's another story) Again think " Vhat you gonna do with that shmutz necklace when a 401K gives yo uinterest and retursn? (It's why Jers LEND money ...reallly)
5) Two words "Analyze This"
6) Five words " you want a fresh one?" (in Nyxies world this may be a comment better suited for Mondays)
...more to follow
1) Jews get "Yo" and "Oy" mixed up which can be amusing..just think "Oy Oy Oy Vhats up me man?"
2)What Jew has ever just killed someone for no reason I mean really? " So she didn't like how I sung Hava Nagila so I popped a cap in her ass"
3) "Sleep with the fishes"? we don't even eat shellfish and what with all the yucky things in the water and not eating for an hour before swimming.....
4) Flashing money and expensive jewelry ( a word in itself makes me chuckle at buying a St. Christophers medal from Mordecai but that's another story) Again think " Vhat you gonna do with that shmutz necklace when a 401K gives yo uinterest and retursn? (It's why Jers LEND money ...reallly)
5) Two words "Analyze This"
6) Five words " you want a fresh one?" (in Nyxies world this may be a comment better suited for Mondays)
...more to follow
Monday, March 30, 2009
Time for Tuesdays things I've learned
This was an interesting week and I learned some interesting things....
1) Nine Inch Nails and piano bars do not mix...something about hearing a cabaret lounge singer going "I want to F you like an animal" just does not seem right..
2) Having conversations with friends that involve 35 pounds if meat and androgenous tiawanese boys are soooo wrong...right Nyxie?
3) Some people pick very funny lines to draw when they choose sides and they do not need to
4) While it may be cold and windy here at 5 am it's still colder in Chicago and it's why I run inside..it does not however make it suck any less to have to get up and run in it at 5....
5)Catching up with old friends can be excellent and the fact that the rum cam will be working makes it all the better...rum and the rum cam lead to very funny possibilities like falling into the pool..has not happened yet but I am waiting
6) White boys wearing their jeans around their thighs do not look gangster..they look like they should be wearing football helmets and be waiting for the short bus
7) There are marshmallows in my life..they walk and breathe and are fun to poke randomly..they are soft and mushy and absorb it well
..and yes I did type this while at the gym :)
1) Nine Inch Nails and piano bars do not mix...something about hearing a cabaret lounge singer going "I want to F you like an animal" just does not seem right..
2) Having conversations with friends that involve 35 pounds if meat and androgenous tiawanese boys are soooo wrong...right Nyxie?
3) Some people pick very funny lines to draw when they choose sides and they do not need to
4) While it may be cold and windy here at 5 am it's still colder in Chicago and it's why I run inside..it does not however make it suck any less to have to get up and run in it at 5....
5)Catching up with old friends can be excellent and the fact that the rum cam will be working makes it all the better...rum and the rum cam lead to very funny possibilities like falling into the pool..has not happened yet but I am waiting
6) White boys wearing their jeans around their thighs do not look gangster..they look like they should be wearing football helmets and be waiting for the short bus
7) There are marshmallows in my life..they walk and breathe and are fun to poke randomly..they are soft and mushy and absorb it well
..and yes I did type this while at the gym :)
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
It's Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, Tuesday.. things I've learned
Fuck, here comes a doozie
1) It is bad to offer Red Bull and/or Scotch to Mormons in Salt Lake City's airport but can be exceedingly funny in ways one just has to see to believe. Let them try to explain why Red Bull is bad as your downing a 16 oz can of it and babbling incoherently in your own head from caffeine overload
2)it appears to be ok when you talk to Jesus but if the fucker answers you may be schizophrenic.. especially if he says you should not take your meds, or work, or repackage meat...more to follow
3)Parents in themselves may be wonderful and the superheroes of our youth but even superheros rust, their images tarnish and fade to a satiny luster of the exemplified image we held them in while younger. They become a slower, older version of themselves and at the same time may serve as a reminder to what we should and should not do in our quest to finally grow up
4) Those same parents may still teach us a thing or two about tolerance and understanding. I realize i will never be the man my father is. i am intolerant, inpatient, unwilling and unyielding compared to him. I will never accept things he does, I will never be able to do things he does and will probably never stop learning from him
5) Living on Red Bull for 5days will lead to 2 things weight loss and acting like a prick to damm near everyone who crosses your path on the 4th or 5th day. Sometimes it happens while at work and the results can be amusing as hell though. Just ask Captian Kirk aka "the chair commander"
6) Some friends have much more insight to things than I thought. J is one of them. Sometimes the patience that is displayed with the flakiness I can profoundly have is nice.
7) Running red lights appears to be an olymic sport native to Las Vegas and frankly it scares me
8)I found that it truly sucks to have to split up 35 pounds of meat and carry it down a flight of stairs and it sucks even more if you've paid for the meat too.. why 35 pounds of meat? why not?
I know .. why not 30 pounds or maybe 40? nope.... 35 seems to work out well
9) sometimes yoga is not the eye opening way to clear your head I figured it was always going to be.. sometimes it's just not hot enough to force everything out of your head, to clear the air or maybe i just need to work harder..who knows?
10)Yelling at asain drives who are going 10 under the speed limit while everyone elseis going 10 over can be rewarding..so much so thatyou may need to yell through a closed winmdow, over your stereo and towords thier closed window..bonus points if you imagine the hear you.
11) I've also discovered the secret to peace in the middle east...every other friday make the Jews, The Muslims and the Christians get together for cheeseburgers, fries and shakes. This meal violates everyones food doctrine and maybe since they are all sinning they will talk about real things? I was going to say fish tacos but who doesn't like a good fish taco, preferable from Baja Fresh?
1) It is bad to offer Red Bull and/or Scotch to Mormons in Salt Lake City's airport but can be exceedingly funny in ways one just has to see to believe. Let them try to explain why Red Bull is bad as your downing a 16 oz can of it and babbling incoherently in your own head from caffeine overload
2)it appears to be ok when you talk to Jesus but if the fucker answers you may be schizophrenic.. especially if he says you should not take your meds, or work, or repackage meat...more to follow
3)Parents in themselves may be wonderful and the superheroes of our youth but even superheros rust, their images tarnish and fade to a satiny luster of the exemplified image we held them in while younger. They become a slower, older version of themselves and at the same time may serve as a reminder to what we should and should not do in our quest to finally grow up
4) Those same parents may still teach us a thing or two about tolerance and understanding. I realize i will never be the man my father is. i am intolerant, inpatient, unwilling and unyielding compared to him. I will never accept things he does, I will never be able to do things he does and will probably never stop learning from him
5) Living on Red Bull for 5days will lead to 2 things weight loss and acting like a prick to damm near everyone who crosses your path on the 4th or 5th day. Sometimes it happens while at work and the results can be amusing as hell though. Just ask Captian Kirk aka "the chair commander"
6) Some friends have much more insight to things than I thought. J is one of them. Sometimes the patience that is displayed with the flakiness I can profoundly have is nice.
7) Running red lights appears to be an olymic sport native to Las Vegas and frankly it scares me
8)I found that it truly sucks to have to split up 35 pounds of meat and carry it down a flight of stairs and it sucks even more if you've paid for the meat too.. why 35 pounds of meat? why not?
I know .. why not 30 pounds or maybe 40? nope.... 35 seems to work out well
9) sometimes yoga is not the eye opening way to clear your head I figured it was always going to be.. sometimes it's just not hot enough to force everything out of your head, to clear the air or maybe i just need to work harder..who knows?
10)Yelling at asain drives who are going 10 under the speed limit while everyone elseis going 10 over can be rewarding..so much so thatyou may need to yell through a closed winmdow, over your stereo and towords thier closed window..bonus points if you imagine the hear you.
11) I've also discovered the secret to peace in the middle east...every other friday make the Jews, The Muslims and the Christians get together for cheeseburgers, fries and shakes. This meal violates everyones food doctrine and maybe since they are all sinning they will talk about real things? I was going to say fish tacos but who doesn't like a good fish taco, preferable from Baja Fresh?
Friday, March 20, 2009
Jesus I hate you..why can't we get along?
Dear Jesus,
For christ's sake please stop telling people I know to stop taking thier meds. i know you get all twisted and stuff around your holiday but is it really necessary to be such a prick? We all know that there are weird things you do but can ya leave the BIO alone so I can sleep like a normal person? Can't you go cause a plague on Dells call center in Dehli or something instead? I would even be happy with making all Sprint techs have polka dots for a week...and they can be multi colored and sized.
We al face challenges and yours involved an involuntary tan and some hellacious piercings but dammitt man I had no part in it and woulda used duct tape..can't you take that into consideration please?
I mean really ya got your own jewlery line although seeing it would be like giving jackie kennedy a gun pendant but what the hay?, a fuckload of real estate holdings which even in this market are worth some coin and hundreds of biographies.. cmon what more could a person want? All I want is for the BIO to be a little more sane.
Do we have a deal?
For christ's sake please stop telling people I know to stop taking thier meds. i know you get all twisted and stuff around your holiday but is it really necessary to be such a prick? We all know that there are weird things you do but can ya leave the BIO alone so I can sleep like a normal person? Can't you go cause a plague on Dells call center in Dehli or something instead? I would even be happy with making all Sprint techs have polka dots for a week...and they can be multi colored and sized.
We al face challenges and yours involved an involuntary tan and some hellacious piercings but dammitt man I had no part in it and woulda used duct tape..can't you take that into consideration please?
I mean really ya got your own jewlery line although seeing it would be like giving jackie kennedy a gun pendant but what the hay?, a fuckload of real estate holdings which even in this market are worth some coin and hundreds of biographies.. cmon what more could a person want? All I want is for the BIO to be a little more sane.
Do we have a deal?
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Wanna eat my meat?
So in my travels through Chicago I ended up going shopping for my father and the B.I.O. I am not sure how but I managed to spend $300 or so on food which makes my family an expensive date as the airfare and car rental was $500 and the new computer I bought them was another $500 +. Part of what I bought today was was about 30 pounds of meat as the food bank does not give out meat and this way they have weeks worth. What peturbs me is the fact that I also have the great joy of seperating and bagging said 30 pounds of meat as the B.I.O. could not handle doing this (she does not work and has not for a while) and simply put it all in fridge where the bagging gods could do thier mitzvah for the day and it would be magically done before it all spoiled (not). Now don't get me completely wrong but dammit.. her own daughter who is 20 MINUTES away doesn't help and her primary example of how to live shows why she won't help...the diatribe in my head needs to just be quiet and hide..I need a beer and a steak (which although she was going to cook will now be done by me) and I think I'll be settling for a Diet Dr. Pepper and McDonalds
Welcome to Chicago...jump inthe water is warm
Welcome to Chicago...jump inthe water is warm
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
"Leavin on a jet plane..."
But i know when ill be back again..on saturday night s-s-s-saturday night. I'll post how it goes in the town of joseph smith or whatever the fuck that mormon guys name is.. I am going to ask the missionaries at the airport about plural marriage and tell them my wife wants a second husband which should throw them. I will also ask if they believe in zombies and if I convert can I eat bacon on a bagel with cream cheese without it being a sin *nods n all*.. updates to follow
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
St. Pats in Hades South....what I've learned...
So for St. Pats here are some things I've learned....
Wearing green does not make you Irish, less of an asshole, more attractive to the opposite sex (unless you are wearing hundred dollar bills), more confident...nor is it slimming...for anyone
Now for the fun...
1) Some people do not appreciate the apparant randomness of my numbering so I will use commas instead,,,,I think they will like that more?
2) I learned that some of my friends are not above being groped to get a pink Iphone that is normally reserved as a gift for 12 year old androgenous Tiawanese boys,,, and if she ever visits I will find an androgenous Tiawaneswe boy to measure her inseam
3) I learned there is a zOmbie burlesque show here in Vegas (really, think Mormons go Goth?) And that sone people must go... Run Nyxie run to the goth mormon side
4)Ilearned that with simple things like a latex glove and a sharpie you can make a mascot called "Ooops I got fucked by my job" and you don't need lube at all...or drinks...or an androgenous Tiawaese boy to ease the pain...you can just send your mascots pic to friends....
5) Today I learned that while Subway is good a nice philly cheese steak kicks ass!
6) Waiting to go on vacation sucks....nuff said...although I have been asked for weird souviners...
7) I learned what a roflcopter is (google it hard to explain) but its better than a don't cry for me argentina...
8) I learned that I can take and send video on my phone, especially of oh... An androgenus Tiawanese boy measuring an inseam for a pink Iphone
Wearing green does not make you Irish, less of an asshole, more attractive to the opposite sex (unless you are wearing hundred dollar bills), more confident...nor is it slimming...for anyone
Now for the fun...
1) Some people do not appreciate the apparant randomness of my numbering so I will use commas instead,,,,I think they will like that more?
2) I learned that some of my friends are not above being groped to get a pink Iphone that is normally reserved as a gift for 12 year old androgenous Tiawanese boys,,, and if she ever visits I will find an androgenous Tiawaneswe boy to measure her inseam
3) I learned there is a zOmbie burlesque show here in Vegas (really, think Mormons go Goth?) And that sone people must go... Run Nyxie run to the goth mormon side
4)Ilearned that with simple things like a latex glove and a sharpie you can make a mascot called "Ooops I got fucked by my job" and you don't need lube at all...or drinks...or an androgenous Tiawaese boy to ease the pain...you can just send your mascots pic to friends....
5) Today I learned that while Subway is good a nice philly cheese steak kicks ass!
6) Waiting to go on vacation sucks....nuff said...although I have been asked for weird souviners...
7) I learned what a roflcopter is (google it hard to explain) but its better than a don't cry for me argentina...
8) I learned that I can take and send video on my phone, especially of oh... An androgenus Tiawanese boy measuring an inseam for a pink Iphone
Saturday, March 14, 2009
In lieu of failure friday here's some things i learned
Ohhh it's been a fun couple of days living on the 13th ring of hell..so much in fact I have a special "things I've learned" (Chaos style)
1) In some circles it is ok to offer an androgenous 12 year old Tiawanese boy to a coworker as stress relief....not legal but ok?
2)When in a bar with 2 coworkers who have slept with the same manager it is hysterical to hear one tell the other "don't I always hook you up?"...moreso when you realize they do not know you know
3)There will be a new I Phone and it will come in pink and it may be given as a gift to androgenous Tiawanese boys
4)It may be great to lose weight but having to go clothes shopping amonst all the ingorant fucks here sucks and no, for the fourth time, I do not need my inseam measured..not even for an iphone, even if it is pink
5)People who give sarchasm (yes that's spelled right) need to be able to take it back or they too may be offered the androgenous tiawanese boy, a coke and a smile
1) In some circles it is ok to offer an androgenous 12 year old Tiawanese boy to a coworker as stress relief....not legal but ok?
2)When in a bar with 2 coworkers who have slept with the same manager it is hysterical to hear one tell the other "don't I always hook you up?"...moreso when you realize they do not know you know
3)There will be a new I Phone and it will come in pink and it may be given as a gift to androgenous Tiawanese boys
4)It may be great to lose weight but having to go clothes shopping amonst all the ingorant fucks here sucks and no, for the fourth time, I do not need my inseam measured..not even for an iphone, even if it is pink
5)People who give sarchasm (yes that's spelled right) need to be able to take it back or they too may be offered the androgenous tiawanese boy, a coke and a smile
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
is it true? things i've learned?
so what's new in hades south this week?
well yesterday I learned that
1)someone will use the line of " so you're the little package that good things come in?' and
2)sadly it did not work but it was hella funny.
3)I learned that no matter how gangster you think you are if you ar ein a Pontiac Transport minivan you are not a gangster
4)I learned that Rhianna looked like the was fightingin the octagon according to police pictures and that
5)Chris Brown musta been channeling Ike Turner and
6) it seems she liked it as they are back together and
7) going to record a duet. I have a short list of titles Id like to offer up to them as a remake would be better?
"smack my bitch up" by prodigy comes to mind or anything by Bobby Brown in the "Coke and Whitney" years might work too?
8)I learned that some people whine and cry when they must do thier own work and we call them by name :)
more to follow
well yesterday I learned that
1)someone will use the line of " so you're the little package that good things come in?' and
2)sadly it did not work but it was hella funny.
3)I learned that no matter how gangster you think you are if you ar ein a Pontiac Transport minivan you are not a gangster
4)I learned that Rhianna looked like the was fightingin the octagon according to police pictures and that
5)Chris Brown musta been channeling Ike Turner and
6) it seems she liked it as they are back together and
7) going to record a duet. I have a short list of titles Id like to offer up to them as a remake would be better?
"smack my bitch up" by prodigy comes to mind or anything by Bobby Brown in the "Coke and Whitney" years might work too?
8)I learned that some people whine and cry when they must do thier own work and we call them by name :)
more to follow
Monday, March 9, 2009
co worker day 3
He whined...he bitched and was told to be quiet and do his work. Its a shame I missed it because he throws fits like a 4 year old girl :)
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Thoughts of Saturday
O.K. So I didn't kill my coworker as Nyx couldn't find a stick big enough to meet the rule of thumb....so I was evil in a much better way. I simply left on time withouht helping to do any shift work as its not my fault his time management skills suck? So I am sure ill hear about it tomorrow but that's then and I feel good today :)
Friday, March 6, 2009
Open letter Friday part 1...
Dearest coworker,
T@+5*y I am carrying a big stick and I feel like using you as the pinata....its ok to be fucking a manager..it just shows poor taste for fucking a a woman who reminds me of a marshmallow but for fucks sake can you mabe do a tenth of the work you fucking lazy good for simply keeping the seat warm fuck? Could you possibly take more smoke breaks you real man of genius? Earth to pencil head...sharpen up fuckstick....
T@+5*y I am carrying a big stick and I feel like using you as the pinata....its ok to be fucking a manager..it just shows poor taste for fucking a a woman who reminds me of a marshmallow but for fucks sake can you mabe do a tenth of the work you fucking lazy good for simply keeping the seat warm fuck? Could you possibly take more smoke breaks you real man of genius? Earth to pencil head...sharpen up fuckstick....
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Here is my next tattoo
As I am are re enough to get tattoos in Latin here's the next one:
"Poena Par Sapientia" which in Latin means "Pain equals wisdom" and in this case it's a different kind of pain and the wisdom of clarity that pain brings. It's a mental clarity unlike any other and in my particular case it has nothing to do with inflicting or receiving pain from another. It seems that everyone has thier demons and some of us are a little more honest about what they are and when we allow them to rise to the surface and who we let see them. My pain tends to be a vicious streak that motivates me and yet holds me back at the same time. I fight it constantly and some days.... when I am feeling honest with myself (and usually in a 110 degree room) I let the demons awake.. It is just a shame I cannot do anything with them as I am exhausted after Yoga. They get put back away..always held in check by the bitten tongue
"Poena Par Sapientia" which in Latin means "Pain equals wisdom" and in this case it's a different kind of pain and the wisdom of clarity that pain brings. It's a mental clarity unlike any other and in my particular case it has nothing to do with inflicting or receiving pain from another. It seems that everyone has thier demons and some of us are a little more honest about what they are and when we allow them to rise to the surface and who we let see them. My pain tends to be a vicious streak that motivates me and yet holds me back at the same time. I fight it constantly and some days.... when I am feeling honest with myself (and usually in a 110 degree room) I let the demons awake.. It is just a shame I cannot do anything with them as I am exhausted after Yoga. They get put back away..always held in check by the bitten tongue
The interesting stuff I learn...
Yup it's Tuesday...ya know "learn it, live it and share it with those who laugh at you day"...where to start where to start...
1) Not getting a job you wanted sucks but not as bas as realizing that
2) If you had bewbies you may have had a chance...and upon some research
3) Cheap bewbies are about 3 grand but
3a) GOOD ones are much more and
3b) giant oversized stripper tits can be 10 grand
That being said I am sure that
4) Some of my freinds would say that a huge rack looks good on me which
5) Scares the crap out of me although
6) Some guy won a hundred grand by having implants for a year and
7) There is a pic of him in a shirt that says "quit staring at my tits"
8) I've always wanted one of those shirts and a new pair of tits may be just the excuse? Who knew?.....
In other news...
9) I discovered that my new favorite word I'd douchebag which
10) Leads to funny discussions on douchebag varities.
11)I can run 3 miles still which serves no useful purpose other than realizing if I had giant fake stripper tits I'd have an excuse not to run too
1) Not getting a job you wanted sucks but not as bas as realizing that
2) If you had bewbies you may have had a chance...and upon some research
3) Cheap bewbies are about 3 grand but
3a) GOOD ones are much more and
3b) giant oversized stripper tits can be 10 grand
That being said I am sure that
4) Some of my freinds would say that a huge rack looks good on me which
5) Scares the crap out of me although
6) Some guy won a hundred grand by having implants for a year and
7) There is a pic of him in a shirt that says "quit staring at my tits"
8) I've always wanted one of those shirts and a new pair of tits may be just the excuse? Who knew?.....
In other news...
9) I discovered that my new favorite word I'd douchebag which
10) Leads to funny discussions on douchebag varities.
11)I can run 3 miles still which serves no useful purpose other than realizing if I had giant fake stripper tits I'd have an excuse not to run too
Monday, March 2, 2009
the funniest comment seen in a chat room in a while was...
AND I quote : "me rove engrish it make me raff out roud"
the funniest comment seen in a chat room in a while was...
AND I quote :
| me rove engrish it make me raff out roud |
Sunday, March 1, 2009
I have no nerves left... I am tattered and frayed
And if i have to hear "So we can't get a hold of the guy from Sweden?" one more fucking time in that grating condescending tone I am going to bribe Nyxie to make me a proper prison shank and debate on using it on the worthy. Hell I may invite her alter ego to tap dance on someones soul for me...you up for it Chaos? I'll bake cookies...
I am tired... I am frayed.. my edges are worn and yet I still go on. I am dragging ever more slightly that usual and find my tolerance limit is ebbing....or is it just that intelligent, competent people are the exception?
Fuck it I want Pizza.. anyone want some?
I am tired... I am frayed.. my edges are worn and yet I still go on. I am dragging ever more slightly that usual and find my tolerance limit is ebbing....or is it just that intelligent, competent people are the exception?
Fuck it I want Pizza.. anyone want some?
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Sometimes people just piss me off...
I consider myself a calm and rational person....most of the time. That being said I do have a small specific list of people who piss me off to the extent of contemplated homicide and these are there stories.....
1) There's the guy who must speed up to cut you off and then run the red light..what the fuck? Are you training for some new olympic sport? If so where do I sign up so I can go buy a '72 Royal Monaco Broughm and go all death race on your ass
In no order 2) the guy who goes to the gym and decides to jumprope right in front of where everyone puts their keys thereby delaying my ability to leave and get chicken wings. Hey fucker I am not watching cause I give a shit or that ýou are good.....I am watching so when you fuck up and miss I can grab that rope and fucking choke you out for being a thoughtless fuck
And for now 3)And I say this with the utmost respect. You stupid fucking Nascar tourists. Yes you, the stupid fuck in the velour pants *points* YOU quit ruining Jennifer Beals pants huh? Oh and look both ways as we run red lights (see #1) and you'll get the ticket if you get hit in the big city ...
Enough for now I've got to go make a prison shank out of a toilet paper roll :)
1) There's the guy who must speed up to cut you off and then run the red light..what the fuck? Are you training for some new olympic sport? If so where do I sign up so I can go buy a '72 Royal Monaco Broughm and go all death race on your ass
In no order 2) the guy who goes to the gym and decides to jumprope right in front of where everyone puts their keys thereby delaying my ability to leave and get chicken wings. Hey fucker I am not watching cause I give a shit or that ýou are good.....I am watching so when you fuck up and miss I can grab that rope and fucking choke you out for being a thoughtless fuck
And for now 3)And I say this with the utmost respect. You stupid fucking Nascar tourists. Yes you, the stupid fuck in the velour pants *points* YOU quit ruining Jennifer Beals pants huh? Oh and look both ways as we run red lights (see #1) and you'll get the ticket if you get hit in the big city ...
Enough for now I've got to go make a prison shank out of a toilet paper roll :)
Friday, February 27, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
a solution for all you whiney assed "im bored" people
So I was sitting in chat the other day watching a stream of "Im Bored" posts from a couple people and thought to myself.. "maybe I should ask them why they are bored" but I feared an answer of "There's nothing to do" or something similarly inane so in an effort to have an answer to that question I began to think " how can I help these people not to be bored?" I thought " well i could tell them to pretend to be doing something" but what would I advise them to be pretending to do while they are bored? So I got my make believe friends together and said to them "let’s see the solution you come up with for people who are bored…we had a make believe think tank on this and came up with a couple fake ideas... the first was asphyxiation but that would just leave illusionary bodies everywhere in fantasyland.. so how about paddleball? It’s a nice safe thing to do .. hell how many make believe murders happen with people are fantasizing over paddleball? Maybe just for fun we can all just make believe pray at the temple of Freebird? …..“Freebird”. I would say in my most fake Benny Hinn hypocritical voice “ And in the beginning there was the word “Freebird” and “Freebird” would be yelled throughout the centuries. “Freebird”, the mantra of the moron! “Freebird”, “Freebird”, “Freebird”, “Freebird”. If we keep yelling this, one day we’llbe funny. Keep doing it. “Freebird”, “Freebird”, “Freebird”, “Freebird”. We will sit at the feet of our saviours.“Freebird”, “Freebird”, “Freebird” with a paddleball”
another edition of "things I know know or have learned"
So in my never ending quest to be a little more aware of my surrounding world her is what I have learned this week:
1) Nyxie apparantly has issues with cooking chicken and
2) some others need to do thier own math :)
3) i've found that I have a new word to describe somepeople i work with.. in fact its my new favorite word and its *tah dah* "douchebag"
4) the definition for douchebag is
douche bag
Function:
noun
Date:
circa 1963
slang : an unattractive or offensive person - and thats from Merriam webster
5) i found this one I like better: Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or motherfucker. Not to be confuzed with douche - thats from urban dictionary.com
6) ive come to realize I know a lot of douchebags.... must be what i do for a living?
7) or maybe its just the tourists in the popped collar shirts?
8) i have discovered what I want to be when i grow up and it's
9) to be the unmoving pivot in my chaotic world.. i want to be still
10) and I know it wont happen cause I am more whirling dervish than slow motion
11) although i just realized my license plates expired in NOVEMBER and i have not put the new sticker that is in the truck on the truck and yet
12) divine will get stopped before me :)
1) Nyxie apparantly has issues with cooking chicken and
2) some others need to do thier own math :)
3) i've found that I have a new word to describe somepeople i work with.. in fact its my new favorite word and its *tah dah* "douchebag"
4) the definition for douchebag is
douche bag
Function:
noun
Date:
circa 1963
slang : an unattractive or offensive person - and thats from Merriam webster
5) i found this one I like better: Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or motherfucker. Not to be confuzed with douche - thats from urban dictionary.com
6) ive come to realize I know a lot of douchebags.... must be what i do for a living?
7) or maybe its just the tourists in the popped collar shirts?
8) i have discovered what I want to be when i grow up and it's
9) to be the unmoving pivot in my chaotic world.. i want to be still
10) and I know it wont happen cause I am more whirling dervish than slow motion
11) although i just realized my license plates expired in NOVEMBER and i have not put the new sticker that is in the truck on the truck and yet
12) divine will get stopped before me :)
Monday, February 23, 2009
Breathe
It's 5am and all I keep telling myself is "breathe" I tell myself "just breathe". The constant left-right left-right rythym of shoes on pavement leads to a zen-like thought process. You and I, friends and enemies, lovers and old loves...we are all connected by this one simple premise: we are all connected in breath...breathe in and breathe out. In breath we are all the same and all as one...young and old, friends and enemies, you and I.
Breathe....
Breathe....
Saturday, February 21, 2009
sometimes goodbye is a scissor snip away
So while going through my mail I saw a notice from my favorite bill...Cap1. Hmmm I wondered what it was seeing as I requested a rate review as my credit score is now well north of 700. I figured that it should be lower than 11 pct. Wrongo...try a raise to 23 pct....WTF???? Really? So after callin Cap1 and realizing that all of Dell and Sprint's laid off customer reps now work for Cap1 I did the only loical things....1) wished a painful death in this life and the next and then 2) cut that fucker up.....how rash yet fun
Thursday, February 19, 2009
If I poke you with a fork will you explode?
Ever wonder about those people who just seem to be too full of ..well themselves to be realistic? Just think, maybe if you poked them with a fork they would pop and show the real side of themselves. Some I would like to poke with maybe a dull rusty spoon first just for the sheer joy of it. Maybe a soup spoon or a ladle I am not sure but definitely something besides a fork. Some days I think maybe everyone would get a little forking just to see who would pop and who would not, but that's just me...Enjoy your thursday :)
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
What I've learned in the past week or so
Through my many ramblings I have learned some important things this week:
1) I am a pussy prophet because
2) I help women find religion during sex and
3) therefore I am proselytizing (which is tough for a non catholic?) during sex which
4) makes it perfectly acceptable to smack a woman on her ass and say "tell all your friends" (jesus would want it this way) although she may
5) tell you she already has and
6) prove it by calling one
in other news i learned that swithing from swing shift to days without a day off sucks because you cannot sleep and end up running on empty
I also learned that after a month out of the gym doing yoga i can still ride 10 miles on the bike at 5 a.m. although the better question some days is why?
1) I am a pussy prophet because
2) I help women find religion during sex and
3) therefore I am proselytizing (which is tough for a non catholic?) during sex which
4) makes it perfectly acceptable to smack a woman on her ass and say "tell all your friends" (jesus would want it this way) although she may
5) tell you she already has and
6) prove it by calling one
in other news i learned that swithing from swing shift to days without a day off sucks because you cannot sleep and end up running on empty
I also learned that after a month out of the gym doing yoga i can still ride 10 miles on the bike at 5 a.m. although the better question some days is why?
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Fuck perception..
Is it amazing that we do not always see what lies before us with our shiny rose colored glasses and the smoke that envelopes us? We are constantly amazed by the new things that have been there forever and the old that just appear. With constant change there may be none and in silence there is a deafening roar of peace.
I am learning that the loud peace of silence can be rewarding in many ways and although the inner peace it brings seems new it has been there much longer than I realize...
I am learning that the loud peace of silence can be rewarding in many ways and although the inner peace it brings seems new it has been there much longer than I realize...
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