people rant part 1

So I am thinking to myself that there's always some tool waiting just outside to harass you, scam you, jump you, or just be generally disagreeable. The thing of it is, they don't always stay outside — sometimes they come after you like a wolf at feeding time.
I have compiled a list of the ones who piss me off the most in no particular order…
The damm guy who has absolutely no idea where he is at ten o'clock in the morning in the middle of my office. Get a job you waste of life, or switch from depressants to stimulants in the morning. Whatever your trip, get off it and find something that works for you before you become another bump on the un-vacuumed floor.
I'm doing that job, and everything on the side, along with millions of other people who are by and large screwed by credit cards. So, take a flying leap MasterCard, Visa, Discover and all you other corporate inquisitors damning us to lives of toil at your command. You hold focus groups to design ads that get us to accept more cards, rack up more debt, and then you strong arm legislation through Congress to make sure we're thoroughly and completely screwed from the first missed payment to the moment our embattled hearts stop beating.
And that goes for the cell phone companies that get five hours' wages every month for doing absolutely nothing. Your phone doesn't work half the times when I need it to, the minutes I buy disappear on the 30th if I haven't used 'em, and c'mon: forty cents a minute when I go over? You'd slap me with an early life-termination fee upon my death if you could, you bloodsuckers.
And the guy that sold me that phone, that college dropout with the suit he bought at Target. I see you leering at the high school girls from your kiosk by Hot Topic. Haven't you figured out that demo camera phone yet? You keep playing with it all the time, or do you enjoy the thrill of taking pictures of fourteen year old girls THAT much? Go hit the pretzel stand and stuff your slack jaws until your stomach bursts. Your two inch obituary on page 9 will be the greatest achievement of your life. Die.
There’s the wannabe who runs around in cammo all the time acting tough 'cause he wants to be a SEAL even though he's 28 and lives in his mother's basement. Your parents got divorced 'cause your dad was ashamed of your ass, smf. Save the planet and kill yourself.
And that person in the red Scion that parks so close to my car door I have to get in on the passenger side. I'd key the hell out of your car if I could get my arm between our cars.
And if you can't relate to this go back to the south, the deep part, the part that says "Welcome to Colombia" over a manned machinegun post in the jungle, and keep going. You don't need a visa, just blow the border guards like every one else you've met. And be sure to lick the frogs, the brighter colored ones. I hope an anaconda drags you back to its hole and eats you slowly from the feet up

"The" list of things I have learned

OK here we go here we go..
1) Someone coming into the mens room and going "boy it smells nice in here" creeps me out
2) Small asain drivers over the age of 60 should not be allowed to drive in reverse lest they hit me again (twice so far this year)
3) My new favorite saying and least favorite thing to see is "hairy bunghole" especially bad when its a 400 lb woman in see through orange spandex at yoga....
4) -ve found that people seem to think that I am willing to put aside my beliefs for thiers....interesting...

Yes we have managed to learn things

some musings for the week
1) Life is tough wear a helmet unless you are a 350 pound man riding the brightest green scooter knows to man. We all know you aren't a target..you might hurt my car
2) dogs will eat anything given the right moment including a silcone breast implant.. why someone I work with had one of these lying around I'll never ask
3)I've discovered I like arglye socks...go figure?
4)getting up at 3:30 is not fun and getting to the gym by 4 is less however the results are nice
5) I am having a love affair.... with red bull and we are sooo good for each other.. I love caressing the can and slowly popping the top and well.. you get the picture
6) independance and in control are not mutually exclusive, can be blurred and are not open to discussion with your parents
7) conversations invloving the subject above can cause brain cramps and lead to alcohol consumption
more soon

What we learned this week

Well this week included some travel to distant lands (Chicago) and a lot of driving so here we go...forgive the rambling I am more tired than usual:
1) I learned I really like Cadillac Escalades after renting one for 4 days of mindless numbing moving
2) Flying for 6 hours to get somewhere to drive for an hour to get some where to start moving boxes for hours......sucks
3) It sucks even if it is your father
4) Especially for my father who rewarded me with stories of having anal sex with Marylin Chambers while there was 5K of coke laying around
5) I learned that 5K of coke is approximately 72072 ounces of coke at 2 16 ounce bottles for 2.22 and with a case of 32 cans being 8.99 at Costco you would have 17797 cans of soda if you are into recycling.
6) All that recycling may pay for a tank of gas for the Escalade which got about 12 miles per gallon
7) Discussing Owner or Master/Slave relations is tough over the phone when someone is new to them
8)Rosati's pizza is bad both in Las Vegas and in Chicago.. think about it.. how do you mess up thin crust?
9) My home is definitely Las Vegas..Chicago is nice but among other things the one I won is here.
10) I learned that Nyxie needs sleep or it's just bad....bad bad
11) Did I mention the Escalade?