What I've learned in the past week or so

Through my many ramblings I have learned some important things this week:
1) I am a pussy prophet because
2) I help women find religion during sex and
3) therefore I am proselytizing (which is tough for a non catholic?) during sex which
4) makes it perfectly acceptable to smack a woman on her ass and say "tell all your friends" (jesus would want it this way) although she may
5) tell you she already has and
6) prove it by calling one
in other news i learned that swithing from swing shift to days without a day off sucks because you cannot sleep and end up running on empty
I also learned that after a month out of the gym doing yoga i can still ride 10 miles on the bike at 5 a.m. although the better question some days is why?