St. Pats in Hades South....what I've learned...

So for St. Pats here are some things I've learned....
Wearing green does not make you Irish, less of an asshole, more attractive to the opposite sex (unless you are wearing hundred dollar bills), more confident...nor is it slimming...for anyone
Now for the fun...
1) Some people do not appreciate the apparant randomness of my numbering so I will use commas instead,,,,I think they will like that more?
2) I learned that some of my friends are not above being groped to get a pink Iphone that is normally reserved as a gift for 12 year old androgenous Tiawanese boys,,, and if she ever visits I will find an androgenous Tiawaneswe boy to measure her inseam
3) I learned there is a zOmbie burlesque show here in Vegas (really, think Mormons go Goth?) And that sone people must go... Run Nyxie run to the goth mormon side
4)Ilearned that with simple things like a latex glove and a sharpie you can make a mascot called "Ooops I got fucked by my job" and you don't need lube at all...or drinks...or an androgenous Tiawaese boy to ease the pain...you can just send your mascots pic to friends....
5) Today I learned that while Subway is good a nice philly cheese steak kicks ass!
6) Waiting to go on vacation sucks....nuff said...although I have been asked for weird souviners...
7) I learned what a roflcopter is (google it hard to explain) but its better than a don't cry for me argentina...
8) I learned that I can take and send video on my phone, especially of oh... An androgenus Tiawanese boy measuring an inseam for a pink Iphone