Time to share some things I've learned from Nyxie in the past.. well I dunno ...while.....
1) It is not ok to mix non jew food (bacon....yummy) with jew food (bagels and cream cheese)
2) Zombies are real and walk around masquerading as shoppers at Wal Mart during the day
3) If you look close enough you can tell which ones they are.. they don't blink
4) Chocolate (on specific days) = friendship
5) Anyhting to do with Christopher Robin makes her twitch
6) PB & J is Nyxies favorite type of food..trailing sushi...and occasionally the aformentioned chocolate
7) Cats and q tips make Nyxie have nightmares....
8) We have decided that Alex, a mutual "friend" is so dumb he is a uniboob
9) Zombies are real dammit I swear!!!
Friday, January 8, 2010
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Just some random notes and rantes
Just a few random notes form my travel to hades...err wal mart..please forgive if i offend, or not
White girls...do not add black girl hair weaves.. you do nto look cool and the closer normal people get the stupider you look
At McDonalds..learn to read the menu.. an order of " ill have a #12 but with no bacon or mushrooms" is asnine an 11 has niether... a 12 has bacon and a 13 has mushrooms
Also mcdonalds "choo wan banilla?" WTF if you are going to take my order speak english..how can you be a manager with "choo wan banilla?"
Also if you are stupid quit breeding..'nuff said
White girls...do not add black girl hair weaves.. you do nto look cool and the closer normal people get the stupider you look
At McDonalds..learn to read the menu.. an order of " ill have a #12 but with no bacon or mushrooms" is asnine an 11 has niether... a 12 has bacon and a 13 has mushrooms
Also mcdonalds "choo wan banilla?" WTF if you are going to take my order speak english..how can you be a manager with "choo wan banilla?"
Also if you are stupid quit breeding..'nuff said
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Why we run in circles chasing our collective tail
Thanks for coming and reading I appreciate it, it’s good to see so many of you and now, on with the show.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately, about sheep and how unfair it is to compare people to sheep……unfair for the sheep that is. We wander aimlessly from channel to channel looking for the weapons of crass delusion, for a cure for depression and for the thought that “wouldn’t it be great to see a country free from a government that kills and tortures innocent people? A government which tells people what to believe is best for them? A government run by the people instead of a select few? Do you ever think we can liberate ourselves from ourselves?
It has been said that “We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.” Yet we are a society that chooses to not read but to use tv and the media to teach family values and right and wrong to an entire generation. "Hmmm channel 2 or 4?" real creative.
We say drinking is bad and then let every mom and pop brand of adult beverage plaster thier name on everything they can....."hey lookit jimmies new Bud hat...goes well with the cammo pants and wife beater while he grills don't it?"
Drugs are another fun one...."Ooohhh were losing the war on drugs"....what a total line that is..it implies 1) we are fighting a war with people on drugs and 2) we are losing...c'mon now when was the last time you saw 2 people high on pot want to fight? They are just not that interested in it...the texture of wet grass is so much more complex to them. I mean seriously when was the last time a stoner walked into a gym and shot anyone? NEVER .....why because the were STONED soooooo point to the government....quit fighting and get high .. it'l be ok Barak I'll send you a pizza.......and some cheetos.
All of whch leads me to porn.....yes, porn...see porn is our most creative outlet it seems.....Let's all have a beer, get high and see what kind of weird angles we can find while playing naked crisco twister with our skype on....and who says we are not creative huh?
Here is my final point. About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography and smoking and everything else. What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I do, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?
I’ve been thinking a lot lately, about sheep and how unfair it is to compare people to sheep……unfair for the sheep that is. We wander aimlessly from channel to channel looking for the weapons of crass delusion, for a cure for depression and for the thought that “wouldn’t it be great to see a country free from a government that kills and tortures innocent people? A government which tells people what to believe is best for them? A government run by the people instead of a select few? Do you ever think we can liberate ourselves from ourselves?
It has been said that “We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.” Yet we are a society that chooses to not read but to use tv and the media to teach family values and right and wrong to an entire generation. "Hmmm channel 2 or 4?" real creative.
We say drinking is bad and then let every mom and pop brand of adult beverage plaster thier name on everything they can....."hey lookit jimmies new Bud hat...goes well with the cammo pants and wife beater while he grills don't it?"
Drugs are another fun one...."Ooohhh were losing the war on drugs"....what a total line that is..it implies 1) we are fighting a war with people on drugs and 2) we are losing...c'mon now when was the last time you saw 2 people high on pot want to fight? They are just not that interested in it...the texture of wet grass is so much more complex to them. I mean seriously when was the last time a stoner walked into a gym and shot anyone? NEVER .....why because the were STONED soooooo point to the government....quit fighting and get high .. it'l be ok Barak I'll send you a pizza.......and some cheetos.
All of whch leads me to porn.....yes, porn...see porn is our most creative outlet it seems.....Let's all have a beer, get high and see what kind of weird angles we can find while playing naked crisco twister with our skype on....and who says we are not creative huh?
Here is my final point. About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography and smoking and everything else. What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I do, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Wow what I have learned
Its been a busy week (go figure?)
1) You can in fact scar your corneas by seeing horrific things like a 5'4" 400 pound womanin bright pink spandex....
2) There are people stupid enough to attempt to pry a door lock off a car witht he same door window rolled down..all the way down.. they will then take cds but in a fit of kindesss leave the cases
3) Ive learned that your kids can be true assholes.. now I dont have kids but I am sure my father has felt that way at some point
4) Pools are nice...sunburns are not
1) You can in fact scar your corneas by seeing horrific things like a 5'4" 400 pound womanin bright pink spandex....
2) There are people stupid enough to attempt to pry a door lock off a car witht he same door window rolled down..all the way down.. they will then take cds but in a fit of kindesss leave the cases
3) Ive learned that your kids can be true assholes.. now I dont have kids but I am sure my father has felt that way at some point
4) Pools are nice...sunburns are not
Thursday, June 18, 2009
people rant part 1
So I am thinking to myself that there's always some tool waiting just outside to harass you, scam you, jump you, or just be generally disagreeable. The thing of it is, they don't always stay outside — sometimes they come after you like a wolf at feeding time.
I have compiled a list of the ones who piss me off the most in no particular order…
The damm guy who has absolutely no idea where he is at ten o'clock in the morning in the middle of my office. Get a job you waste of life, or switch from depressants to stimulants in the morning. Whatever your trip, get off it and find something that works for you before you become another bump on the un-vacuumed floor.
I'm doing that job, and everything on the side, along with millions of other people who are by and large screwed by credit cards. So, take a flying leap MasterCard, Visa, Discover and all you other corporate inquisitors damning us to lives of toil at your command. You hold focus groups to design ads that get us to accept more cards, rack up more debt, and then you strong arm legislation through Congress to make sure we're thoroughly and completely screwed from the first missed payment to the moment our embattled hearts stop beating.
And that goes for the cell phone companies that get five hours' wages every month for doing absolutely nothing. Your phone doesn't work half the times when I need it to, the minutes I buy disappear on the 30th if I haven't used 'em, and c'mon: forty cents a minute when I go over? You'd slap me with an early life-termination fee upon my death if you could, you bloodsuckers.
And the guy that sold me that phone, that college dropout with the suit he bought at Target. I see you leering at the high school girls from your kiosk by Hot Topic. Haven't you figured out that demo camera phone yet? You keep playing with it all the time, or do you enjoy the thrill of taking pictures of fourteen year old girls THAT much? Go hit the pretzel stand and stuff your slack jaws until your stomach bursts. Your two inch obituary on page 9 will be the greatest achievement of your life. Die.
There’s the wannabe who runs around in cammo all the time acting tough 'cause he wants to be a SEAL even though he's 28 and lives in his mother's basement. Your parents got divorced 'cause your dad was ashamed of your ass, smf. Save the planet and kill yourself.
And that person in the red Scion that parks so close to my car door I have to get in on the passenger side. I'd key the hell out of your car if I could get my arm between our cars.
And if you can't relate to this go back to the south, the deep part, the part that says "Welcome to Colombia" over a manned machinegun post in the jungle, and keep going. You don't need a visa, just blow the border guards like every one else you've met. And be sure to lick the frogs, the brighter colored ones. I hope an anaconda drags you back to its hole and eats you slowly from the feet up
I have compiled a list of the ones who piss me off the most in no particular order…
The damm guy who has absolutely no idea where he is at ten o'clock in the morning in the middle of my office. Get a job you waste of life, or switch from depressants to stimulants in the morning. Whatever your trip, get off it and find something that works for you before you become another bump on the un-vacuumed floor.
I'm doing that job, and everything on the side, along with millions of other people who are by and large screwed by credit cards. So, take a flying leap MasterCard, Visa, Discover and all you other corporate inquisitors damning us to lives of toil at your command. You hold focus groups to design ads that get us to accept more cards, rack up more debt, and then you strong arm legislation through Congress to make sure we're thoroughly and completely screwed from the first missed payment to the moment our embattled hearts stop beating.
And that goes for the cell phone companies that get five hours' wages every month for doing absolutely nothing. Your phone doesn't work half the times when I need it to, the minutes I buy disappear on the 30th if I haven't used 'em, and c'mon: forty cents a minute when I go over? You'd slap me with an early life-termination fee upon my death if you could, you bloodsuckers.
And the guy that sold me that phone, that college dropout with the suit he bought at Target. I see you leering at the high school girls from your kiosk by Hot Topic. Haven't you figured out that demo camera phone yet? You keep playing with it all the time, or do you enjoy the thrill of taking pictures of fourteen year old girls THAT much? Go hit the pretzel stand and stuff your slack jaws until your stomach bursts. Your two inch obituary on page 9 will be the greatest achievement of your life. Die.
There’s the wannabe who runs around in cammo all the time acting tough 'cause he wants to be a SEAL even though he's 28 and lives in his mother's basement. Your parents got divorced 'cause your dad was ashamed of your ass, smf. Save the planet and kill yourself.
And that person in the red Scion that parks so close to my car door I have to get in on the passenger side. I'd key the hell out of your car if I could get my arm between our cars.
And if you can't relate to this go back to the south, the deep part, the part that says "Welcome to Colombia" over a manned machinegun post in the jungle, and keep going. You don't need a visa, just blow the border guards like every one else you've met. And be sure to lick the frogs, the brighter colored ones. I hope an anaconda drags you back to its hole and eats you slowly from the feet up
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
"The" list of things I have learned
OK here we go here we go..
1) Someone coming into the mens room and going "boy it smells nice in here" creeps me out
2) Small asain drivers over the age of 60 should not be allowed to drive in reverse lest they hit me again (twice so far this year)
3) My new favorite saying and least favorite thing to see is "hairy bunghole" especially bad when its a 400 lb woman in see through orange spandex at yoga....
4) -ve found that people seem to think that I am willing to put aside my beliefs for thiers....interesting...
1) Someone coming into the mens room and going "boy it smells nice in here" creeps me out
2) Small asain drivers over the age of 60 should not be allowed to drive in reverse lest they hit me again (twice so far this year)
3) My new favorite saying and least favorite thing to see is "hairy bunghole" especially bad when its a 400 lb woman in see through orange spandex at yoga....
4) -ve found that people seem to think that I am willing to put aside my beliefs for thiers....interesting...
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Yes we have managed to learn things
some musings for the week
1) Life is tough wear a helmet unless you are a 350 pound man riding the brightest green scooter knows to man. We all know you aren't a target..you might hurt my car
2) dogs will eat anything given the right moment including a silcone breast implant.. why someone I work with had one of these lying around I'll never ask
3)I've discovered I like arglye socks...go figure?
4)getting up at 3:30 is not fun and getting to the gym by 4 is less however the results are nice
5) I am having a love affair.... with red bull and we are sooo good for each other.. I love caressing the can and slowly popping the top and well.. you get the picture
6) independance and in control are not mutually exclusive, can be blurred and are not open to discussion with your parents
7) conversations invloving the subject above can cause brain cramps and lead to alcohol consumption
more soon
1) Life is tough wear a helmet unless you are a 350 pound man riding the brightest green scooter knows to man. We all know you aren't a target..you might hurt my car
2) dogs will eat anything given the right moment including a silcone breast implant.. why someone I work with had one of these lying around I'll never ask
3)I've discovered I like arglye socks...go figure?
4)getting up at 3:30 is not fun and getting to the gym by 4 is less however the results are nice
5) I am having a love affair.... with red bull and we are sooo good for each other.. I love caressing the can and slowly popping the top and well.. you get the picture
6) independance and in control are not mutually exclusive, can be blurred and are not open to discussion with your parents
7) conversations invloving the subject above can cause brain cramps and lead to alcohol consumption
more soon
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